The first step to harmony at home is making sure children understand what they’re being told to do.

Sometimes the way instructions are given can be just as important as what you’re trying to communicate:

  • Be direct. Make statements rather than asking questions.

  • Be close. Give instructions when you are near the child, rather than calling out from across the room.

  • Use clear and specific commands. Instead of “Go ahead,” say, “Please go start your reading assignment.”

  • Give age-appropriate instructions. Speak to your child at a level he will understand. If your child is younger, keep things simple and use words you know he knows.

  • Give instructions one at a time. Especially for children who have attention challenges, try to avoid giving a series of instructions.

  • Keep explanations simple.  For instance, instead of: “Go get your coat on because it’s raining and I don’t want you to catch a cold.” Try: “It’s raining and I don’t want you to catch a cold. Go get your coat on.”

  • Give kids time to process. After you give an instruction, wait a few seconds, without repeating what you said. Children then learn to listen to calm instructions given once rather than learning that they don’t need to listen because the instructions will be repeated. Watching and waiting also helps keep adults from doing what we’ve requested of our kids for them.

建立和諧家庭的第一步是確保孩子明白父母對他們發出的指令。

有時,給指示的方式與所傳達的内容同樣重要:

  • 要直接陳述而不是提問。

  • 接近,在孩子身邊給予指示,而不是隔着房間大聲叫出來。

  • 使用明確具體的指示,不要簡單說聲「去做」就算,應該說:「請去開始做你的閱讀作業。」

  • 按照年齡適當的指示當說出指示時,應使用孩子可以明白的語言。如果你的孩子年紀較小,應給予較簡單的指示,並使用他會懂的字眼。

  • 每次只發出一指令特別是對於有專注力問題的孩子,盡量避免發出一連串的指令。

  • 簡單解釋。不應說:「穿上外套,因為下雨了,我不想你感冒。」應該說:「下雨了,我不想你感冒,去穿上你的外套。」

  • 給孩子足夠的時間來領會在發出指令後,等待幾秒鐘,無需重覆指令。孩子應要學會聆聽指令,而不是以爲所有指令都會自動重覆,不用留心聽。觀望和等待,不正好是我們作為家長,要求孩子們要做到的嗎﹗